Dowry: Destruction or construction

Abdul Qavi Qasmi

qaviqasmi@gmail.com

Now it is observed with open eyes that society is going from bad to worst. There are a lot of its reasons and causes. But the dowry, as to me, is among the most society destructive system. This custom is disastrous for the society. It has polluted and poisoned its atmosphere at all. Before going into detail, let me clarify its meaning and sense. Dowry literary means the money or property that, in some societies, a wife or her family member must pay to her husband when they get married. It also means the money or property that a husband must pay to his wife’s family when they get married. But now, as the most known, it implies each of jewelry, household and other goods given on the force of bridegroom or his parents to the bride at the occasion of marriage.

There are two kinds of dowry. The first is to give something to enable the young boy and the girl to stand a new household without any inconvenience. Perhaps it was believed that when any boy’s parents had to do a lot to make their son stand on his legs in business or something else. There was nothing wrong if the girl’s parents help the young couple to start their new joinery. And it is also quoted that the holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) handed over his beloved daughter H. Fatimah (may Allah be pleaded with her) at the time her marriage one jar, mill, two beds and one pillow full of palm-leaf. Of course, such dowry is not prohibited.

The second aspect is much repulsive that the boy’s parents make hefty demands which are sometime beyond the bound of imagination, as car, air-condition, refrigerator, desert cooler, scooter, the TV set, computer, mobile set and like these other items besides a big amount of money in cash, lands and jewelry. The poor girl’s parents have to be in debt, loan or sell their some valuable property, which is means to get them livelihood, to fulfill the demands of the boy and his greedy parents.

It is the truth that should be never forgotten that the poor parents had already provided their daughter, since the time of the creation, every kind of facilities, for instance, lodging & fooding, medicine, means of good and strength health, the education according to their ability, and the well-behaved possible relations and showered on her unlimited love and affection. On all these, they spent a lot heartily. It is also undoubted that after marriage, she has to live in her in-law’s house and according to the management made by them. She becomes a part and a member of in-law’s house. She has to adjust and adapt herself according to the atmosphere in the new house.

Keeping all these undeniable facts in mind, a question arises here that when she is leaving her family for and going to become a part of a new family about which she often does not know much and the house is almost entirely mystery for her. Why, then, should it be obligatory on behalf of her parents to endow with much cash, jewelry and so many items of necessity and luxury?

On contrary that, if unfortunately she takes step in a new house not with a huge amount of money, goods and others luxurious items, the poor creature must accept regular taunts and torture from various members of her in-law’s family and be ready to commit suicide or to be burnt alive by the heartless mother in-law or even by her own husband for the sake of whom she left her most beloved parents, relatives and house.

It is obvious to everyone, that today countless girls pass their lives sitting in their house due to lack and adversity of dowry and luxurious things. There is virtual sale of boys in the market. Of course any law and regulation, chalked out by mortal human being, cannot solve the problem. Much depends should be on the Islamic roles and regulation, chalked out by Immortal Allah. It is essential to obey Allah’s commandments in each and every aspect of life. And also this dowry system should be condemned everywhere, in schools courses and young boys should take oath that they would never demand dowry. They should convince their elders that dowry is a destructive system and should restrain from this repulsive custom. There should be far-spread campaign in the newspapers, magazines against this system. Seminars and functions should be held to convey the people the dangers of this system. Such a campaign should not be limited to urban only, but also in the least developed areas to spread the massage against this system.

May Allah give us taufeeq to curb this hazardous custom in our society! Ameen!